Zippers

I love zips, but they infuriate me, who thought the joining together of something could be so easy. But they're not fool proof, but I suppose nothing is fool proof for a very competent fool as the fridge magnets say. Zips, they snag, they break, they undo themselves. How many times have you been told 'fly's undone'. I think what's worst is the movement to redo the fly, there's no hiding it, everyone knows what you're doing. If it were a button, it'd be a simple readjust, but not with a zipper. You just flashed everyone, and now everybody knows you're trying to cover it up.

The development of the zipper was a long time coming, with the first credited design being made in 1851, with the slightly less sexy name "The Automatic, Continuous Clothing Closure." The zipper we know today was invented properly in 1917, and the name came from an advertising executive, trying to use them on gumboots with the phrase 'Zip'er up'. In the years to come, the humble zipper would be criticised by many religious leaders, as it made it too easy for women to take their clothes off.
It's easy for them to criticise, it's not like robes have to contend with zippers on a day to day basis!

Studying for Exams

In Australia SWOTVAC stands for Study without Teaching Vacation, and is pretty much the week or two you get in between finishing studies and doing your exams. It is also the most boring two weeks of your life. If you're not prepared for your exam you have to miss out on anything that might be going on and hit the books. If you're prepared you spend two weeks doing very little, and feeling guilty if you do go out. The worse thing about SWOTVAC is the waiting, like the wait for injections.. you know nothing good can come of it.

So rather than actually study, I looked up facts on the best ways to study, particularly the myths surrounding study. It is fact that eventually we all suffer from memory decay, meaning memories depending on their strength have a finite life. It also false that we need a lot of sleep to promote good memory, rather well structured and effective sleep are more beneficial to heightened memory, finally if taken at the right time an afternoon nap can boost our intellectual performance as long as it doesn't interrupt our sleeping rhythm. Good news, plenty of time for a siesta in SWOTVAC!

Lax Gun Laws

Oh gun laws, these leaves me so incensed. Coming from a land of relatively strict gun control, Australia it just seems so senseless that other countries *cough* the US *cough* can't get on board. Yes I know the Constitution and what not, but the reality is gun availability promotes gun crime, if you can get to them, you can shoot them. I was watching a TV show whereby the surviving victim of a massacre said that we need concealed gun laws so gun crime goes down. To be honest I don't see the logic in this, because concealed weapons would not have stopped the man walking into the restaurant and murdering 22 innocent people. As Chris Rock puts it we need "bullet control" because if bullets cost $1,000 each, you sure wouldn't be firing them into anybody innocent!

In 2009 of the 13,636 murders in the US over 9000 of these were as the result of guns. The US ranks fourth with gun related deaths, to Colombia, Thailand and top of the list South Africa with over 31,000 gun related deaths per year. Phillip J Cook estimates that gun violence costs America about $100 billion annually. The US gun crime rate is eight times higher than any of its economic counterparts, and quite frankly it's time to pop a cap in the ass of anybody who thinks having guns stops gun crime, because you're wrong.

Stepping on things when barefoot

Being barefoot is dangerous, no two ways about it. Although it's the best way to be there are also extreme risks to going shoeless like the blind dash between bed and bathroom only to step on Lego or stubbing your toe on some other solid devil. There's also the danger of sticks and worst of all stones that carry the added risk of rolling. It's a minefield out there, even before you've reached the real mine field!




Speaking of painful things, fire-walking is the practice of walking across a bed of hot embers that is often used as a rite of passage in many different cultures. Walking on broken glass however is purely for entertainment and this is possible with a few adjustments such as using wine or champagne glass which tends to have a softer edge, placing lots of glass on a spongier floor and also walking across slowly and repositioning your feet if you feel any sharp edges. With larger piles of glass the small bits tend to drop to the bottom of the pile meaning you don't get the same sting you would if you were to step on a bit of glass in the street!

Sore Throats

Recently I've been doing a lot of singing. Not for my own pleasure or anybody else's for that matter but purely out of necessity. Waking up in the morning my throat has felt more and more like someone snuck into my bedroom with a little elf and some tiny sandpaper and went to work. Needless to say by the end of next week I'll be Barry White, and my darling I, can't get enough of Strepsils baaaabeeee.

So sore throats are preventable, proper hygeine and so on but did you know that strep throat which is a more serious sore throat can lead to arthritis or heart problems, and there are many other horror stories surrounding the simple sore throat like a man who ended up a double amputee! With such scary stuff happening it's no wonder people have started the I have a sore throat forum so that sufferers may come together to blog about their sore throat... so far it only has six members.

The Morning Alarm

Recently I was on a camp where the teacher merely walked into the room and turned on the light without any warning. Needless to say she made the list. The problem with alarms is not so much the "arggh I have to get up" because that's just an inevitability but the shocking buzz that makes you jump out of your skin or the inane news reader does nothing to lift my morning mood. Yes you can argue there are a number of alternate solutions but for the most part, morning alarms just grind my gears.

Actually the alarm clock was thought to have been invented by Marquis de Sade but it was revealed actually that the honours go to Levi Hutchins a New Hampshire native in 1787. Funnily enough Levi never mass produced his invention he simply desired to wake at the merry hour of 4am every day, much to the ire of his wife, and he invented an alarm clock that did exactly that. There is now a massive industry of alarm clocks including those that force you to get up to find things, or my personal favourite the alarm clock that donates money to an organisation you hate every time you press snooze.

Sad Facebook Users

There are people in the world that take Facebook way too seriously, and added to that whole heartedly believe that we care that "I want a lover who kisses me in the rain." Facebook as a social media site should be filled with the funny groups like "I need a six month holiday, twice a year that's all I ask" and funny statuses like "I think my cat has dandruff" not "I miss him so much, love you (tag boyfriend) <3" Not only do these deeply disturb me, this crap blocking up my news feed really grinds my gears.

The average facebook user has some 135 friends meaning they've got plenty of people to lament their sad stories to, and 1 in 13 of us have a facebook page with 70% of users coming from outside the US. Every 20 minutes on facebook 1.8 million status updates are made and to top that all off the average use is connected to 80 pages that they have "liked" meaning that you'll have to read many insufferable group titles and not so thinly veiled attacks on former flames. Oh Joy.

Smelly Farts in Small Rooms

Yes we've been told that farting is au naturale and I'm all for letting rip out doors but when it's small spaces like cars, studio apartments and bathroom cubicles farting, breaking wind or blowing a bottom gale is not on. The choking noxious gasses are only exacerbated when they have no where to go, and you're the victim looking around for the sly bottomed perpetrator. I have a personal peeve for the SBD. The silent but deadly incapacitates you like a hot pepper spray, leaving you gasping for breath.

On average people fart some 14 times per day letting out about half a litre of of "fart gas." Added to this is the myth that some people don't fart, this is not true as most people when they sleep will fart at some point due to relaxation of the lower region muscles. Depending on the size of the room, a farts odour tends to dissipate in a few seconds, the less air the less chance it has to dilute and hence the pungent aroma. In fact nearly every living organism on the planet farts... except sea-sponges, they don't fart

Prank Callers

My grievance at this particular sub-class of society began this morning, with my first day of holidays... thought I'd sleep in and really enjoy it, but no a person called at 8am, granted it was a wrong number but really it could have been a prank caller, and that was enough to shit me. How hard is it to press correct numbers in a sequential formation, people who can't do it should get their fingers blown off.



Interestingly, most prank calls (in England) are made by people living in London, yet it is Birmingham that receives the most prank calls. Generally it is men who are most gullible and who fall for pranksters more often, yet it is females that most often make prank calls. One final fact, it is indeed a felony in the US to make prank phone calls, with penalties of up to two years.

Now, back to my episode of Crank Yankers

Slow Internet Connection

My Parents would say that I shouldn't complain, that back in their day you had to walk a mile to just connect the dial up. But really when I think about it, internet infiltrates nearly every aspect of our lives. I can drink milk without internet, that's about it. The least it can do is to work at a somewhat speedy pace. Stupid lag.



Spyware can dramatically slow down your Internet connection. Every Internet connection has a limited amount of data it can transfer at any one time. All spyware communicates with the Internet thereby using up some of your available Internet communication. Mind you through the internet 13.3% of users in the US become victims of identity theft, which is also something that pisses me off!

Press refresh if you dare!

Hangovers

It seems a bit ridiculous that people are unable to drink to their merry delight without suffering some form of aftershock. Headaches, drymouth, tinnitus and general wobbles accompany a day post-drinking and it angers me that scientists have yet to come up with anti-hangover alcohol....hop to it einstein!



The biggest cost in fact of hangovers is not to the people enduring them but to the everyday consumer. In the United States, related absenteeism and poor job performance cost $148 billion annually (average annual cost per working adult, $2000). Although hangover is associated with alcoholism, most of its cost is incurred by the light-to-moderate drinker.

Your hangover is costing you money!

Notes that aren't in tune

Now I'm a bit of a music nerd, and whilst I don't have perfect pitch, in my school bands I've had my fair share of icky notes but my god there are some doozies. Akin to babies playing violins whilst screaming, out of tune notes are disgusting to ears and most annoyingly easily prevented through tuning, and generally proper breathing! Nothing is worse than the sharp breath in every time somebody hits a dodgy note




In fact it was Cher in her song Believe that was first to use Auto-Tune a common industry tool in the 1980s however it wasn't until the turn of the century that this tool used to make people sound vocally correct was used. Nowadays artists such as T-Pain use Auto-tune as regular practice, however many are against such as Jay-Z and his DOA album (Death of Auto-tune)

Natural Disasters

This may seem silly, but really how stupid are natural disasters. Regular things and people on this planet do their best to lead honest lives and to just stay out of each others way, then BAM! Flash Flood, Bushfire and Hurricane! Natural Disasters are not only cruel, but due to the general way of the world for some reason they always end up affecting the same hapless people, who can't afford to rebuild. Plus they make things smell gross, and that in itself angers me.

By estimates the 2004 Sumatra earthquake cost some $14 billion

2005 Katrina cause $125billion. In terms of the cost in human lives the Laki Volcano explosion on Iceland killed only 9000 in 1783, however this represented 1/4 of the Icelandic population. Some 10,000 people per year are killed by Earthquakes.

Natural Disasters, bastards!

Speaking German

Now this may seem like a weird thing to be angry about, but really as a non-native speaker of the language it's as hard as the dorky kid trying to be cool. The issue I have is that there's a lot to think about. Is it regular or irregular, what tense is it in, is there a modal verb, what type is the preposition, is the person i'm speaking to higher in rank and position to me. How the hell am I supposed to spell/say that word.





German as a language is spoken by over 100 million people. The Standard German is spoken by educated people everywhere, but on top of that you have several different dialect regions with their own words, contractions and other expressions. Added to this Germans have a penchant for not only changing the spelling of their words, but joining words together such as this beauty Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which means beef labelling oversight transfer law.

You just can't win when it comes to learning German.

Rude People

It's a daily thing, people on the street, in shops even in your own house are often less than polite. Even in a day where people do have high-stress jobs it doesn't mean that rudeness is acceptable, and it angers people. Ironically it is this anger and stress that causes people to "be short" with unblinking customer service attendees who normally get the rude end of the schtick (although i don't imagine there really is a polite stick)

Some 8 out of 10 Americans believe rudeness is caused by bad parenting.

43% of people do not turn off their mobile phone in cinemas

And the icing on the insolent cake. 90% of drivers will experience an aggressive driving incident with Road Rage being the US' #1 Traffic incident.

Manners please.

Leaving the Seat Up

As a female, men leaving the seat up is one of the most major inconveniences known to me. Not only is it gross when we have to touch the underside of a toilet seat, but the sheer laziness of the previous user ensures the ire of the female toilet going world. One of the dirtiest public toilets in the world, the Lincoln Memorial Toilets (I kid you not) was riddled with upstanding seats... in a female bathroom no less
the mind boggles!


In light of this anger... have some toilet related facts.
1. The first toilet in a row is the least used, and most often cleaned
2. A person spends an average 3 years on the toilet
3. The toilet handle in a public bathroom can leave up to 40,000 germs per square inch

It seems we still may have a while to go from Sir Thomas Crapper, inventor of the toilet... who I'm sure after first use, failed to return the seat to the proper position!

Sore Feet

So I recently started a new job, I work in a supermarket as a "checkout chick" which I actually really enjoy, because I get to complain to people and make them listen as I hold their groceries hostage. One side effect of this though is really bad foot pain from long haul standing. When asking some of the more seasoned workers what they did to stop the pain, they replied "we don't." Don't think I've ever been more disappointed in an answer.





One of the most painful foot conditions, trench foot came about in the First World War with the unsanitary conditions in the trenches. Treatments included rubbing whale blubber on the feet of soldiers as a type of coating, but it was eventually found that this in fact sped up the onset of trench foot due to sweating.

It was also reported that there were cases of trench foot at the 2007 Glastonbury Festival

Might just go soak mine in a bucket of warm water!

Sleep Deprivation

Whether you're a university student spiking your coffee with red bull, or a mother with a newborn that you just can't quite believe would cry so much..sleep deprivation is experienced by everyone and it sucks. What's worse is waking up finally after you did get some sleep realising that you're still tired and the three hours isn't going to cut it. There's no rest for the wicked, or anybody else apparently.

British Ministry of Defence researchers have been able to reset soldiers' body clocks so they can go without sleep for up to 36 hrs. Tiny optical fibres embedded in special spectacles project a ring of bright white light (with a spectrum identical to a sunrise) around the edge of soldiers' retinas, fooling them into thinking they have just woken up. The system was first used on US pilots during the bombing of Kosovo.

So there is rest for some wicked people I suppose

Mouth Ulcers and Canker Sores

This week, I happened to discover a ghastly canker sore in my mouth. I do believe mouth ulcer and canker sores are the most inconvenient infections. I've never had canker sores before, so I freaked out thinking it was some sort of tumour. In reality mouth ulcers and canker sores are non-contagious, and can be caused by a multitude of factors. What I'm angry at right now is my inability to eat, sleep or smile because of the tiny pulsating glob on my lip.

In fact, canker sores are very common affecting nearly 20% of the population. They are more common in young adults and teens. It's not uncommon to find canker sores in the mouths of teens under immense exam stress. Women are more likely than men to get them. Some home remedies include a milk of magnesia solution, teabags placed on the lip or a 'swish and spit' salt solution. At the end of the day there is no cure for them, so you just have to suffer for the 2 weeks they take to disappear. Just great!

Fragment Consider Revising

A phrase annoying as the little word paper clip himself. Fragment Consider Revising has plagued word documents for years. What's worse is that fragment consider revising is only a mere suggestion by the helpful word therefore, even when you continue to ignore his most helpful suggestions he'll just keep offering the same advice, with no real explanation as to what the grammatical offence is.





It typically means that you are missing the noun subject of a sentence or the verb. It will also come up if an offending sentence is a just a clause, e.g. "If the boy were walking his dog". It will also show up if a sentence is too wordy with lots of parenthetical expressions without the proper use of commas, semicolons, colons , etc